Video Meetings: etiquette and best practices

Over the last several years, we have all been consumed by videoconferencing - earlier by necessity when health concerns required us to stay away from others, and now more so by convenience. In many ways it is easier, quicker, and more economical to have a videoconference meeting rather than getting everyone together in one room.

While there are arguments for resuming as much in-person activity as possible to recharge our personal relationships, I will leave that part of the issue to another post for another day.

So, since we are stuck with videoconference meetings, how do we think about etiquette and proper behavior?

The overarching theme I will suggest is to treat the meeting with the same respect that you would if you were meeting with the other person(s) in a physical setting. Time is just as valuable and people deserve the same level of kindness and civility. With that in mind…

• Arrive on time for the meeting.

Across cultures there are varying ideas of what “on time” means (see my post on punctuality). For the purpose of this post, I will use the American/North American standard: the meeting or event starts at the time that is communicated.

Pay attention to the invitation or the time that you calendared the meeting, and be on the videoconference no later than that time, ready to engage with your colleagues.

Particularly on a video meeting, it can create significant anxiety if you are the only person in a “room” waiting for others to arrive. You start to wonder if you clicked on the wrong meeting link, missed a change to the meeting time, or got it completely confused on your end. I can’t count the number of times I have checked and rechecked the meeting information because I have been sitting alone in a virtual meeting room for 5 or 10 minutes past the planned start time, and every time I worry that I am the one in error.

If you can’t arrive on time because of another commitment running over time or a last minute issue, get in touch with the person you are planning to meet and let them know. It is much easier to deal with a quick “I am running late” or “I can’t make it as planned, so can we reschedule?” text message or email than it is to be waiting with no indication of what is happening.

• Be appropriately dressed.

Treat online meetings just as you would in person meetings for the purpose of dress code. Be neatly dressed and groomed, selecting attire that is appropriate for a business occasion. You may not always need to have a full suit on, but business casual demonstrates that you are aware that you are in a work environment, even if you happen to be in your living room at the time.

Plenty of cringeworthy stories exist on the internet about clothing choices for video meetings that were just fine above the waist, but totally wrong from the waist down. Think about whether you might encounter circumstances in which you will need to walk away and whether you can be seen. If so, be certain that you are covered in a way that won’t cause you or your colleagues embarrassment.

• Have a space or background that is right for the occasion.

We are not all blessed with a full home office space that is private and quiet. Nonetheless, we can use the tools that we have to make the environment for your meeting appropriate and, most importantly, not distracting to others.

If you can have a blank or sparsely decorated wall behind you, use it. If you don’t have this option (as is the case for my at-home workspace), work on either a virtual background or a blurred background using your videoconferencing system settings to keep those you are meeting with from seeing every detail of your space.

Early in the pandemic, it was all the rage to have a “fun” or “interesting” virtual background. I know that I dialed into meetings appearing on the stage of the musical Hamilton, in front of various Disney castles, on a lovely and quiet beach, and so forth. These helped to relieve some of the tension that we all felt while the world around us was so uncertain. With the passage of time, however, it is more professional to have a background that is not distracting. A plain virtual background puts you in the spotlight, rather than the palm tree waving in the breeze off to your side.

And definitely don’t show up on a videoconference meeting while tucked into your bed! While this might be comfortable for you, it is distinctly uncomfortable for everyone else.

• Put yourself in the best light (literally as well as figuratively).

Virtual meetings and interviews are often the first way that you will meet a potential employer, colleague, or client. So that they see you as the professional that you are, make sure to follow some tips about how to frame yourself for the meeting.

Light yourself from the front. Backlighting can make it impossible for those on the other end of the meeting to see your face, so arrange a light or two so that they illuminate your face. This is also much more flattering than heavy shadows, and can reduce blurriness that sometimes occurs with webcams.

Make sure that you are in the camera’s frame. You don’t want it pointing at your forehead so that you can’t be seen from the nose down, or positioned far below you so that everyone has a view of your nasal passages. Do your best to position the camera at or just a tiny bit above eye level so that it “sees” you head on. My trick to manage this is using my smartphone’s camera rather than the one on my laptop, held in place by a flexible phone stand.

• Check your sound.

Computer microphones are notoriously awful for videoconferences. They pick up every ambient sound and frequently make the person who is speaking sound like they are inside a metal can.

Use earbuds or an external microphone to make sure that you can be heard and to minimize background noises. If all you have is a set of wired earbuds or headphones, that is fine and should not discourage you from using them. It is certainly better to have a wire showing on the screen than to have the person on the other side straining to hear you.

Try to close out or turn off other noises. Especially for an important meeting or interview, you don’t want your vacuum, television, or clothes washer drowning out your words.

• Manage distractions.

Other people, pets, mass transit, doorbells… They are all distractions that we try to avoid. While we can’t always anticipate when the cat is going to decide to walk across the screen or if a package will be delivered, we should do our best to keep these things from creating a scene during a videoconference and derailing your conversation.

Also think about things that your meeting participants may not see, but are huge distractions to you: texts or instant messages popping up on your computer screen or device, or emails flying in left and right. Close all of the computer windows that you do not need for the meeting at hand, use a “do not disturb” setting on notifications, and clear away devices not required for your immediate work. Nothing says “I don’t care about this meeting” more than someone who is continually looking away, typing something else, and generally disengaged with the others.

If you are someone who works with multiple monitors or windows to access meeting information, take meeting notes, or engage in other relevant work during a video meeting, show respect for your fellow attendees by letting them know. Something as simple as “if I seem to be looking off to the right, please know that I am checking my notes that are on the other monitor/typing minutes of our discussion/checking the database for the most up to date information.” can set the right tone and let your colleagues know that you are not ignoring them.

Hopefully this post will help you to feel more confident while on a videoconference and will show off the true professional that you are!