Toasting dos and don't’s

Toasting can be expected at any number of social and professional events - from small gatherings to large celebrations. What should you do if you are called upon to give a toast? And how do you handle yourself if you are the honoree of a toast?

There are a few things that you should keep in mind about toasting in general.

• Toasts should be given in a way that is inclusive of all who are part of the gathering. In other words, toasts are not the time for “inside jokes” or incredibly personal information. You don’t want to embarrass the recipient of the toast, their family, shared colleagues, or yourself by divulging information that is best kept in a more intimate circle. It should also not leave the audience wondering what the context is, and whether they should laugh, tear up, or applaud.

• When toasting, the best practice is to carefully lift your glass just a bit, rather than clinking glassware. Clinking glasses risks breaking them, and it would be a bad turn of your evening to spill a beverage and broken glass all over yourself or someone else. If your host initiates clinking, you can go along with it but do so with a light touch.

• If you are the honoree in a toast, do not toast to yourself. This is considered bad form. My preferred way of avoiding accidentally (or just due to habit) raising my glass if I receive a toast is to keep my hands off the glass so that I am not awkwardly holding it and trying not to raise the glass at the end of the toast.

• You do not need to consume alcoholic beverages in order to give or participate in a toast. Any beverage is perfectly acceptable.

There are typically two types of toasts given at events: a welcome toast and a toast to the guest of honor (which includes a reciprocal toast of appreciation given by the guest of honor to the host).

• The welcome toast is given to everyone in the room. Because it is a general toast to all, everyone participates. This is most frequently offered before a meal or at the beginning of a program.

• The toast to the guest of honor is given to that individual and to recognize their achievement or contribution to the event. The host gives this toast to the guest of honor, so everyone except the guest of honor raises their glass and takes a sip of their beverage. Once this is completed, the guest of honor should give a toast in response thanking the host and acknowledging their generosity in hosting the event. (The host does not raise their glass or sip their beverage, as the recipient of the individual honor.)

If you are asked to give a toast, what should you do? I suggest remembering the advice of The Protocol School of Washington, and heed the “three Bs” of toasting:

• Begin

• Be brief

• Be seated

Begin by standing (if you are able to do so) to get the attention of your audience. The beginning of a toast can be something as simple as “I would like take this opportunity to offer a toast in honor of [insert name here.]” This lets others know what is happening and encourages them to listen quietly.

Be brief. A toast is not a speech. Toasts are best given in a few succinct and relevant sentences noting the occasion, any individuals who are being honored, and sentiments such as appreciation, congratulations, or acknowledgment. If you need to honor someone in a longer format, it is better to plan for a speech that will then end with a brief toast.

Be seated. Once you are finished with your short remarks, ask everyone to join you in the toast, raise your glass, take a sip, and then be seated. This will give a clear indication to your fellow attendees that the toast is complete.

I hope that these quick tips will help you to feel comfortable giving or participating in toasting in any environment!