Those Darn Interruptions

I ran across an article in the New York Times Well Newsletter that discussed why interruptions bother us so much. While I try not to get myself wound up by relatively minor things like this, being interrupted is a pet peeve of mine and I must admit that it does inspire some deep annoyance.

As the author of the article points out, being interrupted makes us feel that our thoughts (and by extension, ourselves) are not valued in the conversation or the relationship. It can contribute to significant challenges between people whether in work or social settings.

I am someone who tends to be more of a listener and thinker during meetings, and at times this work style may create the problem that ultimately leads to my annoyance. Because I am not talking frequently or loudly — and because I don’t want to interrupt others — I find myself struggling to get a word in. Then once I am able to find the break to start talking, those who are more vocal jump in and interrupt. I feel uncomfortable making remarks that would seem to admonish someone, especially in front of a group, by saying “please don’t interrupt me” therefore more often than not I end up sitting there and not having a turn to speak. One time I brought this up with a colleague because she was constantly interrupting me, and she brushed it off by saying “oh, that is just me doing my extroverting.” This flippant response did not exactly inspire me to bring it up again.

To reduce the number of times I am interrupted, I have developed the habit in work settings that is something similar to a recommendation from the article. I make sure I am using a friendly and nonjudgmental tone when I stop the interrupter by saying “I will finish my point quickly and then would love to hear your thoughts on this.” I hope that this acknowledges their desire to contribute to the discussion without forcing me to yield the floor at the immediate moment.

I have also encouraged students in my courses to be aware of how they communicate. Do they fall into the category of the constant talker who might unintentionally take up all the time and space so that others can’t contribute? If so, taking an occasional breath and checking in with their colleagues to encourage them to speak could enhance their communication and work relationships. Do they have a work style that is more like mine, in which they listen carefully what others are saying and do not jump in to the conversation quite as eagerly? They might need to get out of their comfort zone and signal to others that they have thoughts that they want to share. A raised hand or other gesture could be more recognizable than just a facial expression.

How do you deal with or avoid interruptions?